Transformers: The Ride review

After just coming back from three weeks in the United States of double cheeseburgers, I thought it would be a good idea to fill you in on some of the happenings whilst I was out there. Firstly, Transformers the ride at universal orlando. My god, have they advertised this thing to death. Even outside SeaWorld they have billboards for this thing. Initial opinions? Not good. The building it is in is ugly and doesn't fit in where they've put it, amongst all of the classic buildings. Maybe if they tore down Fear Factor live (which they never seem to use anyway) it would be better there, or even in between that and Men In Black alien attack. Or maybe put the Hogwarts express where fear factor live is  and keep Jaws and have transformers the ride between that and men in black alien attack? No? Anyway, one positive about the building is the big statue of optimus prime on the outside, which I thought was mightily impressive. Inside, the same 3D glasses are used here as Despicable me minion mayhem and the amazing adventures of spiderman, but that isn't the only resemblance to the amazing adventures of spiderman. Once through the building (WATCH THE VIDEOS) you will have to go back for the glasses that you inevitably forgot if you were in the fastpass line because A) they aren't well signposted and B) youre busy watching the videos because otherwise you have no idea what the bloody hell is going on. I should know, the first time I went on, I had no idea what was happening. After that, you enter your EVAC car (yes, the only difference is the paint job, otherwise it's the SCOOP car from Spiderman) and set off, only for the allspark to be stolen, which is the cue for lots of fighting. Jolly good. The whole experience feels very spiderman-esque and extremely expensive, but each time I left the ride and entered the gift shop (holy cow there's expensive stuff in there) i felt a bit disappointed. It is very similar to Spiderman, yet not as good if you ask me. It just feels too short, too sudden and there is too much happening at once so you can't really work it out. Add to that the lack of a storyline in comparison to Spiderman and you get what I mean. It's just Super Smash Brothers Brawl where Mario has mutated a bit. That's all. It gets 3 and a half stars from me. Could have done better, but OK. Just don't bother waiting hours for it.